i feel like so much is going on and at the same time nothing is going on.... there are too many thoughts so i think this will have to be bullet points.

* I never spoke to "J" he has only brought up his wifes pregnancy once, and it was weird. i think he is scared shitless, and quite frankly, i don't want to scare him anymore with horror stories of miscarriage and sadness. if i have to address it i will, but for now, i am just going to leave it alone.

* we had tissue from my D & C sent to a lab to test for chromosomal abnormalities. everything came back normal. dr. d was pleased with this result, but also seemed a little frustrated. also with that testing, they determined the sex. luckily, dr. d asked if we wanted to know. the answer was "NO" i just didn't think it was a smart idea. i think it would have made me sad all over again. and sad in a new a different way. i keep thinking about it...... i think about calling to find out. but i won't do it.

* beta on friday was 146...... they think i will only need one more beta. i am going tomorrow.

* i gained 7 pounds from the start of stims for the FET. but for some reason, i feel like i gained 20. all of my pants are so tight....it's killing me. there is no way that 7 pounds should do this..... i was falling out of my fat clothes when we started.

* dh and started working out. we are doing the couch to 5 k program. i think people who run are strange, so far it sucks, but i keep doing it. i have to loos those 7 pounds and all the extra bloat that is going on here..... it's disgusting!!

* i am hoping AF shows up sooner than later.... it may help with the bloat.

* i am taking a break from acupuncture. i will start again probably in august. i just stopped going. they don't even know what happened.....

* dh and i have decided to stay with dr. d moving forward. there was always a chance we would go elsewhere after this FET, but they have treated us so well, and they know us, and we know them.

* as soon as AF arrives we will have a better time table, but it looks like we will be doing a fresh cycle sometime in september.
dr. d says he wants to shoot for a day 5 transfer since all our embryo's were so great last time....which i am super happy about, and they are putting together an order for my meds.
hopefully AF gets her ass in gear and shows up soon..... dh's little sister is getting married at the end of october and it will be the wedding of the year.... the royal wedding take two. i don't want things to interfere with that :)

* i want to smoke cigarettes. i know..... it's awful and disgusting. i have been a non-smoker for 2 and a half years.... the past couple weeks have been a test. it has definitely been hard. and i know that smoking is no good. no good at all. but, i really want to.

* i have some new followers!!! welcome!! thanks for joining!! it's awesome!

* i have to say thank you..... thank you to everyone for your support and kind words. it has kept me going the last couple weeks. i just don't know how to show my gratitude for all the love... and a special thanks to gurlee and mrs. d for sending out love the way that you did!!