Tuesday, August 31, 2010

long time no see blog-friends

well, i am sorry for going MIA.... it's been crazy

i left of on day 24 of my 30 days of blog, and i am sorry. but i just don't have it in me to catch up.

on friday last week i had my trial transfer, saline sonogram, and ivf consult with the nurse. as i am with a differnt RE for this ivf cycle, the trial transfer was without a doubt important. and also important because of the 2 iui's and 1 embryo transfer i have had, none have been easy.

this trial transfer was TERRIBLE!! i think i was in stirrups with speculum in for about a half hour. i was in that position for so long that my legs began to tremble involuntarily. i held it together so that dr. mumbles (my new name for the new RE, as he is constatnly talking to himself) could do what he needed to do. however, the nurse knew i was going to blow at any moment.

after they both left the room i lost it. it is very upsetting to me that something that should take no time at all is actually quite difficult for more than one doctor to accomplish.

as dr. mummbles said he had to make sure the catheter wasn't being bent inside my cervix, and he was able to refine his technique of "inserting of catheter sleeve to 4cm, the rotate 180 degrees, finish by inserting catheter the rest of the way to about 5.5 cm."

Quite frankly dr. mummbles, I DONT CARE!! just get it right!!

saline sonogram was easy... no big deal.

afterwards we had the ivf nurse consult. she was great, she did ask if i was still up to it after the worst half hour of my life. as i have already been through one of these, i was no big deal. DH however, was freaked out about the TT still as he did not retain one bit on information from the consult. i think his head was actually spinning around in circles!!!

as we left the doctors office DH looked at me and said, "that was intense."

love him

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

day 24.........where i live

Delray Beach, Florida
click on the link to find out anything and everything
you ever wanted to know about
Delray Beach!

CD 2

YAY!! AF finally came. It was officially the longest I have ever gone without her......44 days.
I do have to say I hope this never happens again because she is kicking my ass!!
Cramps like nothing I have ever felt before, and I am so freaking tired.

Started BCP last night, and scheduled a trial transfer and saline sonogram for friday. also called to set up delivery for the rest of my ivf meds. (i had postponed due to AF as a no show. i didn't want to pay for meds that i might not have needed.)

here we go again.........

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Friday, August 20, 2010

day 20......a hobby


today i am making macaroni and cheese and chocolate cheesecake bars.


Thursday, August 19, 2010

cd 41 still waiting

yup, that's right! cd 41.
NEVER IN MY LIFE has AF been like this!! i am a pretty regular girl 26 days usually, but the longest was probably 31 days.

i had some blood work done

E2- 132
Progestrone- 11.2
Beta- Negative

So, apparently, i O'd last week. AF should be showing her ugly head next week some time.
let's get this show on the road. bcp here i come!

day 19......a talent

i can play the clarinet

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

day 17...... a piece of art

music to me is art.
i learned along time ago that it is so much more than some symbols on a sheet of paper.
i have so many people to thank for giving me this love of music.
and this song in particular, taught me a little about music being true art.

Monday, August 16, 2010

day 16.....a song that makes me cry

i wish i had looked ahead last week when i posted about Michael Bluble's song "I just haven't met you yet" I would have posted it today.

There are songs, or even cd's that make me sad.... make me think of lost loved ones.
For example, Frank Sinatra make me think of my grandmother. And the Marine Corps Hymn makes me think of my grandfather.

But today, I am remembering a dear friend. I have been thinking about him so much lately. And I truly hope that you are happy now Mikee. So today, this song is for my lost friend.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

day 15..........my dream house

ok, so there are a couple things that make my dream house.

First of all, DH and I LOVE to cook. actually, DH used to cook for a living. so naturally our kitchen must be AMAZING.

Next, since moving into our most recent home, we have realized there is no going back. we must ALWAYS have a pool. very necessary.

third, and very important for both of us as well is a completely over the top bathroom. awesome shower, with shower heads all over. a shower big enough to have a party in. and an amazing bathtub!

also important to me would be a front porch the length of our home. not something you see a lot of in south florida, but something i dream of having. (we are stuck in south florida, probably for ever, as this is where DH's work is)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

day 14... the last non fiction book i read

read it last weekend.... couldn't put it down.....
great book!!

Friday, August 13, 2010

day 13

the last fiction book i read............

Thursday, August 12, 2010

day 12..........

i think this is something a lot of people are a little OCD about....
there is a right way, and a wrong way to load a dishwasher. My way is the right way. Period.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

prenatal + bcp + preg tests= confused cashier at the pharmacy!!

thats right. i just purchased my monthly prenat, birth control, and a pregnancy test..... LMFAO!!


only in an infertile's world would this make any sense.

AF is still no where in sight. 8 days late. i have tested once with a cheapy pee stick, but i figured i guess i will bite the bullet and spend the $$$ for a good test. whatever. i will POAS in the am.


i hate waiting for AF. i guess i will call the doc on friday if there is still no sign.

in other news....

BFF called me this morning freaking out. she was terribly upset because she was thinking a friend of ours, (the one i don't like because she has a baby) might be pregnant again.
she was a mess about it.
i love bff. she said, at this point there is only one person she would be happy to see pregnant. and anyone else who might be pregnant, she hates them. i was hysterical laughing. it's like she has taken my feelings as her own.
i did tell her i thought she was being a little irrational. and that she should not be angry at others who might get preggers.
anyway. i just thought that was funny.
oh, and by the way. girl i don't like.... not pregnant. (thank goodness!!)

day 11... me now

well, kinda now..... ok, a little while ago.....

i take pictures. i am the one behind the camera, not usually in front of it.
so this is me. the day we got our little boy, stewie. so cute!!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

i just haven't met you yet

as i drove to work this morning, listening to the radio, i heard this song.
i have probably heard this song a million times, because there are only so many songs you can hear on your local top 40 radio station. i usually even sing along to the chorus when i hear it. but today, i actually heard this song. not on purpose, i guess the lyrics just sunk into my head today....
and by the time the song was half way over, i was hysterical.
not laughing hysterical.
(i cried so much i had to put on more make up when i got to work.)
but it made me think, this song. thank you michael blube.
its kind of a cheery song, and it made me cry in kind of a happy way.

when i first began to worry that there was something wrong. when i knew we would need a doctors intervention in order to get pregnant i was obviously sad. i was seeing my hypnotherapist at the time, who suggested i/we find a way to deal with my sadness. and i came up with a little mantra. something to get me by. i still say it sometimes, and it sometimes helps.
i think to myself, "we haven't been blessed with a child yet, because God has not found the right one for us."
(i am not really a religious person, but i do believe that God does give us blessings.)

well this song made me think about me little mantra, and made me feel good today. because it will happen. we will have a baby. and it will be amazing.

i just haven't met you yet.

so here it is. the actual song, and the lyrics are below. maybe it will give someone else a little hope today.

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh, promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
(I just haven't met you yet)
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven't met you yet

day 10 me.... over 10 years ago

this was me in high school......
sadly, this was more than 10 years ago :(

Monday, August 9, 2010

day 9 aphoto that i took

well bloggers, i love to take photos......
and there are so many to choose from.

this photo was taken at the beach, in november 2008.
my brother and i just ended up there one day, and i took this shot
which makes me love living in south florida

Sunday, August 8, 2010

day 8...... aphoto that makes me sad

taken on the same day as the last photo...... my gram
the last time she traveled was to my wedding. i was so happy she was there, but so sad that it took so much out of her to be there.
love you gram.
we miss you.

Friday, August 6, 2010

20 of my favorites

In no particular order:

1. my DH- Joe G!! i love you babe
2. stewie - our dog
3. taking pictures
4. cooking
5. bubba cheeks (my nephew)
6. dunkin donuts iced coffee
7. my iphone (small addiction)
8. scratch off lotto tickets
9. my bed
10. as mentioned before, any smut television (reality tv, daytime tv)
11. the pool in my backyard
12. my family
13. sleeping in
14. days without work :D
15. my toyota corolla
16. hydrangeas
17. farmers markets
18. shopping
19. going out for breakfast
20. the florida keys

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


today is cycle day 26...... my period was due today.

not a single sign of AF.

no sore breasts, no chocolate cravings (well i always want chocolate, but no intense cravings), no headache, no bitchiness, NADA.

when i spoke to the ivf nurse today she asked if we tried this month to get pregnant. I said emphatically "No"
but when i got off the phone i thought about it. we weren't trying. but we weren't not trying. i wasn't paying attention at all.

if i don't get AF by friday, maybe i might POAS. or maybe i will go in for a beta. i hate to POAS, it makes me crazy.

Day 5 my favorite quote

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell

This is a new quote to me...... Thanks Mrs. D.!!!!

I love it!!

day 4 my favorite book

i think, of all the books i have read, there is one character I love the most. she is great.

they made the series of books into a movie, and i think they destroyed the book, and they destroyed Becky Bloomwood. So if you thought the movie was dumb, which it is, PLEASE read the books!! They are hysterically funny, and easy to read.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

day 3 - my favortie tv show

so.... this is not something that i generally share in any type of public setting.

but, it is definitely a part of me.....

this is a tv show that i have watched my whole life, and i think there are 3 people in the world who know how seriously i feel about the people who live in pine valley.




so here it is, my favorite tv show, for the whole world to know:

of course there are others........ but All My Children is a must watch!! Pretty much everyday since i was 12.

Monday, August 2, 2010

my favorite movie

i have way too many favorites to just mention one.
so here they are, the movies i will happily watch, any time they are on.
in no particular order:

Love them all!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

waiting for AF

AF is due on Aug 4.

Usually by now my boobs hurt, and i am having some cramping.


I hope AF comes on time...... i am ready to get this show on the road, i am over the break, and over the waiting.

Day 1 My favorite song

There are so many songs.....
So many memories.....

Today, and on most days,
This is my favorite song.

30 Day Blog Journal

I have seen this on a couple blogs, and thought I would join in! ince today is the first of the month, and I will need something to keep me occupied while waiting for IVF #2, i thought today would be a good day.

Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of my favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of you recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where I live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - my worst habit
Day 28 - whats in my handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future