i'm back!

i have missed you all so much!!  i have decided i will continue my story here.  its so crazy to be here and on the other side.  i have so much to update.  i want to catch you all up.

my last post was about a cleanse i did last summer.  well the cleanse went well.  i stayed gluten, sugar, dairy, egg, soy, caffeine, alcohol and corn free for like 30 days..... when my nutritionist hooked me up to a crazy machine after the cleanse she was able to tell me my cells were healthier.  (i can't remember details, but that was the gist.)  it was much easier than i thought it would be, i felt great at the end, and i am actually planning to do it again after the new year.

during the cleanse last summer we contemplated other doctors.  i was feeling like my local doctor, Dr. D., was starting to treat me like a dart board.  just throwing needles out there....maybe something will stick.  i wasn't really into that.  so we decided to talk to a few other docs.  i scheduled a phone consult with the doc in las vegas.  Dr. Sh.er.  and i also set up an appointment with the closest local baby factory.
the las vegas doctor was interesting.  i chose him as he specializes in RPL.  so we did phone consults, ran blood work (everything under the sun was tested on me and the hubs), and after about a month he called me and said i would never be able to get pregnant and stay pregnant without doing IViG treatment.

ok.

at the same time we were also consulting with the local baby factory.  man, this place is a factory.  there  are like 10 RE's under one roof.  well, 6 roofs, as they have offices all over south florida.  i chose one of the medical directors and founders of the clinic.  he has a glowing reputation in south florida.  we did the consult.  Dr. H., of course, wanted to run all the labs again, so we did.  i was completely drained of blood in the month of july..... i think between both doctors i had been drained of like 30 vials of blood..... whatever.  the things we do....right?  anyway, after all the testing we went back, AMH was better than previous testing, hubs was showing a little bit of a sperm issue (sorry don't remember the details) other than that we were still inconclusive.  so dr. h says, "i don't know jes, we can try it again if you want."

yeah.

thats what he said.

i didn't fall off the planet

nope. still here. just nothing really to say. here is an update. bullet point style ;)

* results came back from our bloodwork. all within normal levels. i was happy and sad at the same time. YAY! i dont have an auto-immune disease. or choromosomal abnormalities. or any other crazy thing happening. BOO! i dont have an auto-immune disease. or choromosomal abnormalities. or any other crazy thing happening. so what the fuck gives. same for DH. all normal.

*mid october i called to schedule my hysteroscopy and endometrial biopsy. the nurse asked if dh and i had been having "unprotected intercourse". my answer was "umm.... yeah". she said we had to wait until af came around again. seriously. i think we might be ok. whatever.

*when af was 6 days late i called to seeif i could get in for bloodwork.... they asked if i had POAS. "No."
they asked me to POAS and call 3 days later if she still hadn't showed. i had pee sticks in the house from ivf #3. so the next morning as a good girl, i POAS using FMU. before i looked at the test, i wiped, and there she was. fucking bitch.

*so i called to schedule my hysteroscopy. which of course gets scheduled for the most annoying time possible.... so many work conflicts. but, whatever.

*hysteroscopy and endometrial biopsy was done on thursday. everything went smooth. no polyps or endometriosis found and cervix dialated. again. (except for the brutal constipation from all the meds....sorry)

*i have decided we will not be cycling in the month of december. i love my husband and don't want to kill him. and i need my job because of the amazing healthcare, i don't want to get fired for yelling at a stupid person. my hair is pretty, i don't want to rip it all out of my head. all things that might happen if i were to add IVF to the rest of the insanity that is december. so maybe i will start bcp in january.

*i have been letting it all hang out so to speak. not worrying about anything IF related since the beginning of october. my break is over.
back to taking care of business. back to weight watchers, prenatal vitamins and all the other supplements. less wine consumption and a little more care of my body and what is left of my egg quality.

i'm still hoping for a 2012 take home baby.....

WTF Appt

we had it today.

i called yesterday to schedule it.... thinking i had time to finish up on some research i hard started... turns out dr. d is going to a fertility conference tomorrow, so they scheduled it for today. so ready or not, we went. i walked into dr. d's office and he said, "i'm really glad you are still smiling.". meanwhile i was a little scared dh was going to punch dr. d in the head if he didn't hear things he wanted to.

so here it is.... the facts as we know them.
- ivf #1- antagonist protocol. 9 follicles retrieved. 7 fertilized. ok quality embryos. transferred 2 at day 3. two made to blast and frozen at day 5. biochemical pregnancy. methotrexate shot.
-ivf #2- cancelled due to 2 lead follicles nothing else worth retrieving. (long lupron protocol)
-fet #1- 2 day 5 partially hatched embryos transferred. good quality. pregnancy. blighted ovum. d&c. karyotyping of products of conception came back as normal.
-ivf #3- antagonist protocol higher dosage of meds. 8 follicles retrieved. 7 fertilized. 2 good quality embryos, 5 not so great. transferred one perfect (no fragmentation) and one very good embryo on day 3. nothing left to freeze.
- AMH is officially low. (.29) FSH is normal
- all other testing has come back within acceptable levels.

the plan
- barrage of testing. dr. d thinks this could be an egg quality issue (low AMH) and also could be an implantation issue.
testing to be done for immune issues related to implantation, as well as clotting disorders. also i asked for karyotyping for both me and dh. (dr. d didn't think it would show anything, but will do it.)
- i mentioned the trouble at transfer time. (being dilated during transfer and the stress that might have caused). dr. d suggested another hysteroscopy to open my cervix back up, and also endometrial biopsy (again to look for implantation issues).
- continue on all vitamins...prenatal, dha, melatonin. add dhea (50mg in morning 25mg at night). dr. d said i could do coq10 if i wanted, but did not think it would help.
-next cycle. higher dosage of meds(same protocol)..... try to get more follicles. no pgd(embryos won't make it...they are better off inside me) day 3 transfer of at least 3 embryos. acupuncture.
- me- i'm going to take care of myself. healthy diet. excersize and yoga. a little red wine every once in a while. little caffiene (i drink 1 cup of decaf almost every day). acupuncture and happy thoughts

i feel good. i am happy with the way things went today. dr. d is doing all the testing i wanted done. (mostly his idea.... just a few things that i brought up). the bottom line is..... i just want this to work.