Friday, April 29, 2011

stim start and ultrasound

lining: "nice and thin"

left ovary: "clear"

right ovary: "clear"

we are good to go!!!
i am truly so excited!! i feel like we have waited so long for this day.

i strapped on my first estrogen patch this morning. let the crazy time begin!
tonight i will start low dose asprin with my prenatal and melatonin (strictly for sleep, been taking it for about a year).
tomorrow lupron goes down to 10 units.

transfer day got moved up. may 18.
i think this is a definite date, but i will check for sure on wednesday when we go back for monitoring.

funny thing about may 18th

last year may 18th was retrieval day. the day my eggs were fertilized.
the day our little embabies were created.
can you believe it.

one year to the day.
it's a good sign.

Monday, April 25, 2011

CD 1

it feels like it has been forever since i posted.

mom has been sick.....i have been so preoccupied and really haven't even had a chance to think about the hormones racing through my body. i think and hope that she is on the road to recovery. i mean, she just has to get better.

the other day i couldn't remember if i had given myself the daily lupron dose. i thought about it for about an hour. did i? maybe i did? i don't think i did..... i finally called the on call nurse..... i felt like such a shitbag. i told her i couldn't remember if i had done the shot or not. she said i wasn't an asshole, but secretly i am sure she was thinking, "what is wrong with this girl?"
we decided i should do the shot, because i really think i didn't do it.

the lupron has not been an issue. last september when i was on lupron i was injecting 5 units (nothing really) and i was emotional, sweaty, and basically an all around mess. right now i am injecting 30 units, and nothing. i feel fine. i am exhausted. but i think that has more to do with worrying about my mom.

acupuncture has been going well. nothing to report.

af showed her head today. finally. she was due on friday. yesterday i spotted once. and then..... nothing. this morning i was just about to call and tell the nurse af was still not here, i decided to check one more time, and there she was! i think we are still on track for a may 20th transfer. will find out for sure on friday.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

a prayer

a co-worker of mine was sad tonight. yesterday her family experienced a loss.

her sister in law gave birth yesterday. 4 months early.
John Ryan was born late last night. he lived with his parents for three short hours.

i don't know much about what happened or why..... but i do know his family loves him dearly.

i am so very sad for John Ryan's family, and i am praying for their sweet angel, and for their loss. i hope they are able to find peace, as they grieve.

Friday, April 15, 2011

game on

first lupron shot this morning...

i was nervous last night. it was funny, i had nerves like the first day of school. nervous excitement.

the weather has been in the high 80's with such humidity, and i am so ready for the nasty lupron hot flashes!! bring it on!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

moving right along!!

monday dh and i went to dr. d's office for our med training and cycle planning visit.

we paid all fees
talked about cycle start date
and then......
nurse "i" mentioned the difficult transfers. she said it had been over a year since my d&c and hysteroscopy, and she was a little concerned about my cervix possibly closing up a little. she decided to schedule a trial transfer, just to be on the safe side. she said as long as the trial transfer went smoothly, we should be good to go for med start on friday..... but if it did not go well, i might have to have another hysteroscopy and d&c. and we would get pushed back......

i. was. terrified.

she gave me a Rx for valium.... just to make sure i was nice and calm for the trial.

med's were ordered and consent forms were signed.

today was the trial. i woke up in a great mood. torturing dh the minute he was up.... he asked if i had already taken the valium, because i was in such a good mood :D

we went to dr. d's office.... bladder so very full, it was all i could think about. dr. d said he was hopeful that this trial would go well.

as he looked at the ultrasound he said, "ok, the bladder is full, maybe too full." (i felt it might be, and i hate when you have to pee so bad, they tell you just to pee a little.) but he did it!! it took two tries, but he did it. and i think dr. d was more relieved than i was. actually EVERYONE was relieved. the stenosis in my cervix is pretty bad i guess, because all the nurses were so happy.... high fives as we were leaving the office!!

lupron starts on friday!!

i can't even believe it is here, i am so excited and truly optimistic....this is going to work!!

we go back april 29 for first ultrasound and stim start!! WOOO-HOOO!!

also, thanks so much for your comments about my mom :D
she was pretty sick and was in the hospital for 7 days, but is out now, and doing soooooo much better!!


Monday, April 4, 2011

trip to the keys....cut short

dh and left for islamorada on saturday morning. we LOVE islamorada... nothing to do and absolutely gorgeous!! best friend introduced us to a wonderful hotel there, The Drop Anchor Resort. if you find yourself in the keys, i highly recommend it!!

anyways, saturday was a good day.... we drove down (about 2 and a half hours).....stopped at the Island Grill.... love it there too...
had some stone crabs, cracked conch, and ahi tuna delicious!!! we stocked up at the grocery store, liquor store, and bait shop. and then we just relaxed. the view at the drop anchor is so beautiful, and the weather has been so beautiful, 80 and sunny with a little breeze.....PERFECT!! sorry for those of you who live in the cold :(

sunday started beautiful..... i woke up early, went out for coffee and the most amazing cinnamon buns in the keys (Bob's Bunz)
got back to the hotel and hung out on our balcony and waited for dh to get up..... we hung out at the pool all morning. around 2 o'clock best friend called. she had taken my mom to the emergency room early sunday morning.... she had a kidney stone. they sent her home with lots of instructions which bestie totally took care of (love that girl) but then mom started to feel like she had a fever and was not feeling good at all. so bestie called to let us know what was going on and that my mom was going back to the e.r. for the second time.

i waited a bit and then called my mom. she knew best friend had filled me in.... i really think she wouldn't have called. crazy lady.
mom said she was ok, and i was NOT to come home. i told her i would only go home if she was admitted to the hospital and had to stay overnight. she said that was fair.

the new optimistic me said everything would be ok. so....i started drinking. scotch.
the sun was out, we laid in the sun, we went swimming, it was perfect.
my cell phone died because we listened to pandora all morning on my phone. we decided to go to lunch around 3.30. i plugged my phone in, and we went back down the street to the island grill. i was full. of scotch. couldn't eat a thing. too drunk.

best friend called dh's phone at 4.15 and i knew it was bad news.... said she was being admitted. she then gave me a million reasons to not come home.
i told her i was too fucked up to figure out what to do. best friend and dh had a good laugh. at my expense.
we drove back to hotel, i stayed on the phone, and dh figured out the game plan. basically, i was worthless for decision making.
i took a shower and tried to sober up. dh was fine. we packed the car and were on the road by 5.30..... my head was spinning.

we got home around 8 and went right to the hospital.... i got to spend a little time with mom, but she was not feeling well at all. and completely out of it.... morphine will do it.

when i got to the hospital this morning, i said hi to mom, and she said, "i think i am really sick jes."
i told her, "i know."

she had become septic from the kidney stones blocking the path to her bladder.

the urologist came around 10.30 and said he was going to schedule surgery to put in a stent to drain her kidney. he seemed like it was a busy day and wasn't quite sure when the surgery would be. 2 hours later she was being rushed into surgery.... he made it happen quickly.

the surgery went as expected and mom did well. they are keeping her until they can get the infection/sepsis under control, and to make sure the stones drain. hopefully she will be much better tomorrow.

a whole day in the hospital is gross.... dh made an amazing dinner....meatballs, sausage, and pasta, he also unpacked, started laundry and cleaned up. he is the best!!!

good news..... we got a voucher from the drop anchor for our unused night. 1 vacation has turned into 2 mini vacations!!!
i can't wait to go back!!