Sunday, March 20, 2011

March ICLW

welcome iclw er's!!

i love iclw......because i love comments, and even more i truly get excited for each new follower i have!!

for my bloggy friends who have been following me.... thank you!! for new visitor's.....i hope you stick around! :D

a few things you should know about me.......

1. i'm not really a fan of capitalization. i usually only type in lowercase, sorry if this bothers you.

2. i love punctuation!!! i might use it wrong...... sorry if this also bothers you.

3. i love my husband more than he could ever know. i feel lucky to have such an amazing man standing by my side everyday.

4. i am currently at the tail end of a much needed 6 month break from TTC.

5. started TTC in january 2009. began seeing RE #1, Dr. D in january of 2010. 2 natural cycle iui's....both BFN. ivf #1....positive beta, chemical pregnancy with rising betas..... treated as an ectopic with a methotrexate shot. went to RE # 2 in july 2010, Dr. Mumbles. ivf #2....cancelled..... two follies big enough to retrieve, other follies too small.

6. after 22 months solid of TTC i had become a shell of the person i used to be. i had alienated
myself from the world. i had gained 30 pounds. i became unable to sleep through the night. i stopped pushing myself towards a better job. i stopped doing things that made me happy. i was basically miserable.

7. in the last 6 months i have found myself again. i dug my soul out of the ditch that i had thrown it into. i have regained friendships. i have come out of the IF closet to most people in my life (everyone but work people). i have lost 23 pounds!! i actually feel good about myself. i am excited to get back on the TTC horse (more than a horse, a bucking bronco)

8. i have 2 beautiful frozen embabies waiting patiently for a gorgeous, plush, triple layer lining.

9. i just started seeing an acupuncturist and traditional chinese medicine doctor. she thinks i have MAJOR issues with my yang, and we are currently working to find yin and yang balance.

10. we will go back to the RE in the beginning of april for an FET! i can't wait!! (waiting for health benefits to kick in)

11. i used to think women who blogged about infertility were a little crazy.....with all the abbreviations, and crazy sad stories. my husband urged me to start blogging because he thought it would be good for me.

i never could have known how special this place would become for me. i never could have known that the women i have never met could mean more to me than many relationships i have in real life. i never could have known this would be the best place for me to share some of my deepest darkest thoughts and feelings. this community is amazing!!!

thanks so much for stopping by...... i hope you stick around to follow my story because it will have a happy ending! all i want is to be a mom. its all i ever wished for.......


  1. Hello! I am headed towards an april fet myself. I can relate to the ttc isolation AND the weight gain. If it werent for my harrowing ohss experience i'd still be lugging around 10-15 extra pounds from the procedures.

    Good luck with your ttc rodeo!

  2. I am also headed for an April FET. I'm on BCP's now. I wish you the best of luck! Happy ICLW!

    ICLW #123

  3. I'm so glad to hear that you realized that you were stuck in a negative rut and have managed to get yourself back on track. That you "came out" about the infertility to friends is a really positive step because it allows them to be caring, supportive and generous toward you. It's also great that your husband suggested you start blogging, which is really supportive of him. And now you have us!

    Best of luck in April!
    Lisa (ICLW #112)

    P.S. There's still time to register for the free Fertility Focus Telesummit which starts today and runs all week. Go to to register. I'm speaking in a few hours on creating effective support networks while trying to conceive, but there are also talks by 11 other fertility experts.

  4. Nice to meet you! I smiled when I read that you never thought you would be a part of this community, because I thought the same thing. I thought it was a self-involved thing to do...little did I know! I'm so glad that I did.

    Glad this break has done wonders for you, and wishing you tons of luck in April. Looking forward to following your journey :)

  5. I look forward to "getting to know" you. I wish you the best with your FET. April seems to be a popular month. My husband and I have just finished an FET cycle and are awaiting our beta on Friday. Hugs and baby dust!

  6. Good luck with the IVF - if you like reading you should check out the book "So Close" by Tertia - it's amazing and she talks about her 9 IVF's to get her twins. Take Care! XO

    -Lavonne @ *Our Wish*

  7. Love your list! :) #6 really got me. "Shell of a person" thats what I feel like IF has done to me as well! Somedays are harder than others. BTW-I actually love all lowercase (kind of modern and stylish) :)

  8. I think a break is really important ... glad that you found yourself again! Welcome back to this community! :) (e.e. cummings didn't like caps, either. *grin*)