Friday, May 7, 2010

Tired & Cranky.....But I have HOPE!

This is me. Tired & Cranky. This just about sums up the last two weeks. I guess it was the birth control pills....I would like Tired and Cranky to take a backseat though.

Today was cycle start with Dr. D. Ultrasound and final paperwork.
While I was sitting on the u/s table, I got a call from my OB/GYN. I tested positive for ureaplasma.... They said they would call in an Rx for antibiotics and that DH needed one too, as we have probably been swapping ureaplasma forever now.
As soon as I hung up the phone with the Dr's office I immediately Google'd "Ureaplasma" it said "STD"!!!! Excuse me?? STD???!!!
As soon as my heart began to race the ultrasound tech and my IVF nurse came into the room. I told them the news, and they seemed to not have a concern, but wanted to know why I was freaking out.... "I don't want an STD!!" They said it's not really an STD, just a bacteria.
Whew! So DH and I will be on antibiotics to kill my non-STD..... :)

Earlier today I found the Project IF on the Stirrup Queens website....I knew it was there but this morning began to read them. Probably not the best idea. I was WRECKED!!
I do understand how answering these If's can help, but I think that we all need some hope. These If's brought me down..... In order for me to survive this ride, I will do it with HOPE! Not these terrible "What If's"
Today I have Hope...... Hope that my husband does not see me as broken..... Hope that my Dr. does know what he is doing..... Hope that one day I will be able to tell people that I love and respect what actually has been going on in my life..... Hope that the IVF drugs don't make my head spin around like Linda Blair..... Hope that I can complete this cycle of IVF with no drama.... Hope that maybe I can reach someone through this blog and give them a little hope as well....and most of all Hope that I will be a mom some day soon.

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