YAY!!
Beta= < 1
I wasn't supposed to have a beta today, but i woke up bleeding. the bleeding caught me off guard, and i got a little nervous. i called and ask to come in for a beta just to make sure everything was the way it should be.
Now.
More Waiting.
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Friday, July 9, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
advice please! need some opinions!!
i am very blessed. i am blessed to have health insurance that is amazing. my insurance has full coverage for infertility. with an unlimited lifetime maximum.
before you all hunt me down and beat me with tire irons, please know that my health insurance will no longer be covering me as of november 7, 2010. with the end of my coverage coming soon, and not enough $$$ to pay for fertility (ivf) treatments on our own, i have an unbelievable sense of urgency to take advantage of every minute of coverage that i have.
as of today, we have 2 frozen embryos ready to go. i also have 4 months to get as much done as possible. i am still waiting for AF before i can do anything. it's killing me. i feel like time is wasting.
when we went in for our failed ivf follow up, dh and i asked dr. d about the potential of doing a fresh ivf cycle next. a cycle where we would do stims harder to create more follicles, and therefore maximize the number of potential embryos available before my coverage runs out. we wanted to do this as FET cycles are significantly cheaper than a fresh ivf cycle.
dr. d did not want to do this. he said, "this is just how it's done." and followed up with, "you should have plenty of time to get in a frozen and fresh cycle before november 7th."
sounded good to us.
but now, as i have not gotten a period yet, the clock continues to tick..... tick tock... will we have time for two more cycles??? first a frozen then a fresh??
and then, i got a letter in the mail today from dr. d's office...... letters are always about money....if they wanted to talk to me about anything else, it would have been in person. so, i was not so excited to open the letter.
the letter said, "as a result of increasing costs and declining insurance reimbursements, we are now requiring patients with insurance coverage for ivf to place a deposit equal to 50% of the standard fees for services rendered...."
we don't have that money.
so now what???
i am thinking maybe i should check out some other clinics in the area..... as the clock ticks on, maybe i can find a doctor who would be happy to accept my insurance for another fresh cycle before it runs out, and then worry about frozen cycles after we make some more embies.
i really do like dr.d's office. i really don't want to switch. i love the nurses, they know me and my crazy quirks. but maybe this is a sign. a sign that i should at least check out my options, and take advantage of the insurance.
bloggers please if you have advice, today i need it!!!!
before you all hunt me down and beat me with tire irons, please know that my health insurance will no longer be covering me as of november 7, 2010. with the end of my coverage coming soon, and not enough $$$ to pay for fertility (ivf) treatments on our own, i have an unbelievable sense of urgency to take advantage of every minute of coverage that i have.
as of today, we have 2 frozen embryos ready to go. i also have 4 months to get as much done as possible. i am still waiting for AF before i can do anything. it's killing me. i feel like time is wasting.
when we went in for our failed ivf follow up, dh and i asked dr. d about the potential of doing a fresh ivf cycle next. a cycle where we would do stims harder to create more follicles, and therefore maximize the number of potential embryos available before my coverage runs out. we wanted to do this as FET cycles are significantly cheaper than a fresh ivf cycle.
dr. d did not want to do this. he said, "this is just how it's done." and followed up with, "you should have plenty of time to get in a frozen and fresh cycle before november 7th."
sounded good to us.
but now, as i have not gotten a period yet, the clock continues to tick..... tick tock... will we have time for two more cycles??? first a frozen then a fresh??
and then, i got a letter in the mail today from dr. d's office...... letters are always about money....if they wanted to talk to me about anything else, it would have been in person. so, i was not so excited to open the letter.
the letter said, "as a result of increasing costs and declining insurance reimbursements, we are now requiring patients with insurance coverage for ivf to place a deposit equal to 50% of the standard fees for services rendered...."
we don't have that money.
so now what???
i am thinking maybe i should check out some other clinics in the area..... as the clock ticks on, maybe i can find a doctor who would be happy to accept my insurance for another fresh cycle before it runs out, and then worry about frozen cycles after we make some more embies.
i really do like dr.d's office. i really don't want to switch. i love the nurses, they know me and my crazy quirks. but maybe this is a sign. a sign that i should at least check out my options, and take advantage of the insurance.
bloggers please if you have advice, today i need it!!!!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
i'm cured
dr. d called yesterday while hubs and i were planting an herb garden..... beta was 15. so, "your cured", he said. it was funny.
now a break.
thank. god.
i really need a break.
now a break.
thank. god.
i really need a break.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
m is for methotrexate
That's right, i am being sent to the cancer center at my local hospital for a little methotrexate.
There is no sign of pregnancy any where in my uterus, which unfortunately means this is being considered an ectopic pregnancy. YUCK!! i just don't like the sound of that.
so we decided to make things quick and easy, a little shot will get rid of the problem. sounds good to me. i am ready to move on. i dealt with the loss and the heartache of the IVF not working over 2 weeks ago, i am over it. i am looking forward. i have seen pictures of my two beautiful blastocysts on ice and i am ready for them. i hope they are ready for me!!!
dr. d's office does not administer these shots, so he is sending me to the closest place that does! when he explained to me where we were going he said, "you are going to the cancer center, but don't worry, you don't have cancer, so just accept it and move on." for some reason his was extremely funny to me.
he called to have them schedule me for the shot for tomorrow morning. they couldn't squeeze me in. this is strange and annoying to me. really? you can't squeeze me in for a shot?? even though my doctor has asked you to?? so whatever, tuesday morning we will check out of our hotel in beautiful key west, and drive like the wind to make it to my 2pm appt. No problem. At least i can enjoy my weekend away without any random side effects. I will not be anywhere near google looking up any info about the shot until our drive home, thanks to my trusty iphone. :D
I AM DETERMINED TO HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.
After all, we are going away to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary!! YAY!!
There is no sign of pregnancy any where in my uterus, which unfortunately means this is being considered an ectopic pregnancy. YUCK!! i just don't like the sound of that.
so we decided to make things quick and easy, a little shot will get rid of the problem. sounds good to me. i am ready to move on. i dealt with the loss and the heartache of the IVF not working over 2 weeks ago, i am over it. i am looking forward. i have seen pictures of my two beautiful blastocysts on ice and i am ready for them. i hope they are ready for me!!!
dr. d's office does not administer these shots, so he is sending me to the closest place that does! when he explained to me where we were going he said, "you are going to the cancer center, but don't worry, you don't have cancer, so just accept it and move on." for some reason his was extremely funny to me.
he called to have them schedule me for the shot for tomorrow morning. they couldn't squeeze me in. this is strange and annoying to me. really? you can't squeeze me in for a shot?? even though my doctor has asked you to?? so whatever, tuesday morning we will check out of our hotel in beautiful key west, and drive like the wind to make it to my 2pm appt. No problem. At least i can enjoy my weekend away without any random side effects. I will not be anywhere near google looking up any info about the shot until our drive home, thanks to my trusty iphone. :D
I AM DETERMINED TO HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.
After all, we are going away to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary!! YAY!!
today= ultrasound and decision making time.
friday's beta was 356
monday's beta was 261
yesterday's beta was 276
when nurse m called yesterday to tell me it went back up, i couldn't even control myself. i said, "what the fuck!!" this made nurse m hysterical. i am getting to the point where the fluctuating beta's are comical. like really, this is ridiculous.
so, back to see dr. d today. i guess we have to decide on how to get rid of my empty placenta. (this is what i have been calling it)
not to excited about my options.
i am however excited that tomorrow morning we are leaving for key west!!! yay!! god do i need to get out of this town. on monday i asked nurse m to get with dr. d about my vacation.
3 questions
1. can i drink?
2. can i have sex???
3. can i go on a boat?
nurse m immediately responded with "As long as you do all 3 together!!" I love that girl <3
so dr. d called later that day to find out what was going on, if i had fallen off the IF wagon.
I think nurse m forgot to mention the whole going away part. dr. d. said I could enjoy myself, but not to party like i am at a frat party, as i may still get nausea from the empty placenta. (not his words)
YAY!!! i am so excited to get away and relax, party a little, and have some fun.
and maybe i will do all 3 together!! :D
friday's beta was 356
monday's beta was 261
yesterday's beta was 276
when nurse m called yesterday to tell me it went back up, i couldn't even control myself. i said, "what the fuck!!" this made nurse m hysterical. i am getting to the point where the fluctuating beta's are comical. like really, this is ridiculous.
so, back to see dr. d today. i guess we have to decide on how to get rid of my empty placenta. (this is what i have been calling it)
not to excited about my options.
i am however excited that tomorrow morning we are leaving for key west!!! yay!! god do i need to get out of this town. on monday i asked nurse m to get with dr. d about my vacation.
3 questions
1. can i drink?
2. can i have sex???
3. can i go on a boat?
nurse m immediately responded with "As long as you do all 3 together!!" I love that girl <3
so dr. d called later that day to find out what was going on, if i had fallen off the IF wagon.
I think nurse m forgot to mention the whole going away part. dr. d. said I could enjoy myself, but not to party like i am at a frat party, as i may still get nausea from the empty placenta. (not his words)
YAY!!! i am so excited to get away and relax, party a little, and have some fun.
and maybe i will do all 3 together!! :D
Saturday, June 19, 2010
will this cycle ever end
ok, so thursday i had to go in for a beta. they wanted to track my beta down to zero. i was annoyed. i mean, i understand, but it's still annoying. your not pregnant, but, lets keep doing blood tests to make sure.
i was expecting a call from nurse M. thats my girl, i love nurse m! so when i picked up the phone and heard dr. d's voice, i knew it wasn't going to be good.
my beta came back at 261.
ugh.
really. this is not what i wanted to hear
(most women in my situation would love to hear about a beta of 261. but not at 30dp3dt. this is beta #4. 261 is not a good number.)
so dr. d said it could be a couple things:
1. best case scenario: beta is on the way back down. i had passed some tissue and had major cramping over the weekend. so thinking and hoping this is what it was.
2. some placental tissue attached to my uterus that is continuing to grow. this is gross.
3. ectopic pregnancy. NO FUN!!!
he asked that i come in monday for more bloodwork and an ultrasound, so that we could track my beta's and see what is going on. and then i told him that i was having major cramping all day. painful, like my worst period cramping. dr. d then suggested i go in friday instead of waiting the weekend.
so yesterday i woke up with tears in my eyes, and a lump in my throat. off to see dr. d.
as soon as we got to the office, the waterworks began. nurse m gave me the look my bestie gives me when there is nothing to say. i love her. as soon as i sat down for bloodwork, she told me we were going to do an ultrasound, and then chat with dr. d. YUCK. i mean i love dr. d, but it was said in that, "i'm sorry but there is a problem" kind of way. YUCK.
as soon as dr.d walked into the ultrasound room, i became hysterical. this is the first time that i have cried in front of dr. d. he was great about it. i love him.
ultrasound revealed a small cyst on left ovary. thats it. dr. d said everything looked good. he also said he does not believe that it is an ectopic. god i hope not. he said we will continue to track the situation, back on monday for another beta.
beta number five, still going up. i was so upset i didn't even ask for a number.
this whole situation is ridiculous. i am upset, and sad. i am sad because i am not pregnant. but i am mostly upset. upset because, if i had just gotten my period like every other month, the BFN would not be so painful. the fact that this is being drawn out, into some strange gynecological drama, makes it so much worse. i would just like a period please. i don't even care if it is a bad period. just a period. bring it on AF!!
i just feel alone. i don't think there is anyone out there who can say anything to make me feel better today. i hate that feeling.
i was expecting a call from nurse M. thats my girl, i love nurse m! so when i picked up the phone and heard dr. d's voice, i knew it wasn't going to be good.
my beta came back at 261.
ugh.
really. this is not what i wanted to hear
(most women in my situation would love to hear about a beta of 261. but not at 30dp3dt. this is beta #4. 261 is not a good number.)
so dr. d said it could be a couple things:
1. best case scenario: beta is on the way back down. i had passed some tissue and had major cramping over the weekend. so thinking and hoping this is what it was.
2. some placental tissue attached to my uterus that is continuing to grow. this is gross.
3. ectopic pregnancy. NO FUN!!!
he asked that i come in monday for more bloodwork and an ultrasound, so that we could track my beta's and see what is going on. and then i told him that i was having major cramping all day. painful, like my worst period cramping. dr. d then suggested i go in friday instead of waiting the weekend.
so yesterday i woke up with tears in my eyes, and a lump in my throat. off to see dr. d.
as soon as we got to the office, the waterworks began. nurse m gave me the look my bestie gives me when there is nothing to say. i love her. as soon as i sat down for bloodwork, she told me we were going to do an ultrasound, and then chat with dr. d. YUCK. i mean i love dr. d, but it was said in that, "i'm sorry but there is a problem" kind of way. YUCK.
as soon as dr.d walked into the ultrasound room, i became hysterical. this is the first time that i have cried in front of dr. d. he was great about it. i love him.
ultrasound revealed a small cyst on left ovary. thats it. dr. d said everything looked good. he also said he does not believe that it is an ectopic. god i hope not. he said we will continue to track the situation, back on monday for another beta.
beta number five, still going up. i was so upset i didn't even ask for a number.
this whole situation is ridiculous. i am upset, and sad. i am sad because i am not pregnant. but i am mostly upset. upset because, if i had just gotten my period like every other month, the BFN would not be so painful. the fact that this is being drawn out, into some strange gynecological drama, makes it so much worse. i would just like a period please. i don't even care if it is a bad period. just a period. bring it on AF!!
i just feel alone. i don't think there is anyone out there who can say anything to make me feel better today. i hate that feeling.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
follow up beta
this makes me angry.
i woke up angry this morning, and now 4 hours later, i am still angry.
i had to go in today for a beta to make sure my hcg is going back down to zero. a shot at the infertile, a stomp on my heart.
can't we just move on.
i hate IF!
i woke up angry this morning, and now 4 hours later, i am still angry.
i had to go in today for a beta to make sure my hcg is going back down to zero. a shot at the infertile, a stomp on my heart.
can't we just move on.
i hate IF!
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