The Break that is.
I am totally and completely over this TTC break.
In October, I was beside myself excited for this break. I was thinking that these 6 months would be just perfect for me to get back to some semblance of the girl I used to be. Well, I am truly feeling better about myself. It really makes me feel good to type that, and to see it written down, because it is totally the truth.
I think the weight loss has a lot to do with feeling better about myself. I mean, I actually feel better about my body. I was really becoming uncomfortable in my skin. This morning i weighed myself (not an official weigh in day, but really i like to get on the scale every morning, it keeps me motivated) and I had made it to the 20 pound mark!! HOORAY!! I will keep this momentum. I am doing this for me, and my future child. I am creating a healthy place for my baby to grow. (Like my mantra :D)
As for the TTC.
October, November and December were a total break. I mean NOTHING! Not even a prenatal.
Well, not nothing, we certainly didn't go 3 months without sex!! But no trying at all! I really needed that.
January I thought I might be preggers, I got excited, and then I got let down. This month I started using OPK's and life got in the way. (I hate those tests because of the holding it for 4 hours and the whole peeing on a stick in the middle of the day. I don't want to deal with that shit at work!) I also think I didn't ovulate at all this month. CM just wasn't there like it usually is.
So now, as we still have 5 weeks left in this break I am over it. I think it is a combination of reasons. I know it has something to do with actually making it this far. The last month will probably be torture. Also, I think the BFP's have been rampant. I feel like everyone around me, IRL and in blog world is getting knocked up. I keep thinking about those two little ice babies that we have. I pray they will make it through the thaw. I pray that they will be perfect. And, of course, I pray that they will stick.
I still have 10 more pounds to go towards my goal, which will keep me occupied a little. And I have to work a little extra this month to get my hours in check, so that my insurance kicks in on April 1st. I will make it. It will be quick and painless.
37 more days