There are so many songs.....
So many memories.....
Today, and on most days,
This is my favorite song.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
30 Day Blog Journal
I have seen this on a couple blogs, and thought I would join in! ince today is the first of the month, and I will need something to keep me occupied while waiting for IVF #2, i thought today would be a good day.
Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of my favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of you recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where I live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - my worst habit
Day 28 - whats in my handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future
Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of my favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of you recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where I live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - my worst habit
Day 28 - whats in my handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future
Sunday, July 25, 2010
IVF # 2
this month has been the well deserved break that i needed...... a little vacation, lots of sun, a little drinking, one night out til 4am. Man i needed to have a good time!! I actually forgot what a hangover felt like. Yesterday I woke up, and could not figure out why i felt like such garbage...that was until DH woke up and suggested i might be hung over.....WOW!!
2 weeks ago we went to see a new RE, Dr. P. (this has been the only doctors appt we have been to in a couple weeks!) he knew why we were there without me even saying anything.... he knew we wanted to do another fresh cycle, before touching our frozen blasts, and he was very receptive.... but asked us to be sure this is what we wanted to....
so, it's official. We are getting ready for IVF #2.
I am going back to no alcohol, no caffeine, and no nights out til 4am!
I would like to start to do some yoga. If anyone has any suggestions for a good DVD so that i can do yoga at home please let me know.
also, i will be doing a little hypnosis. i LOVE hypnosis!! i have lost weight, and quit smoking by way of hypnosis, so maybe it will help as well. :D
just waiting for AF. she should be here around august 4th.
2 weeks ago we went to see a new RE, Dr. P. (this has been the only doctors appt we have been to in a couple weeks!) he knew why we were there without me even saying anything.... he knew we wanted to do another fresh cycle, before touching our frozen blasts, and he was very receptive.... but asked us to be sure this is what we wanted to....
so, it's official. We are getting ready for IVF #2.
I am going back to no alcohol, no caffeine, and no nights out til 4am!
I would like to start to do some yoga. If anyone has any suggestions for a good DVD so that i can do yoga at home please let me know.
also, i will be doing a little hypnosis. i LOVE hypnosis!! i have lost weight, and quit smoking by way of hypnosis, so maybe it will help as well. :D
just waiting for AF. she should be here around august 4th.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
BFF is really a great friend
so, i spoke to BFF today.
I had to say something. she had to know my feelings, and i was waiting for the perfect moment, and i got it :D
i told her that i knew she was late, and i told her i was secretly hiding from her...... and she told me she knew that i knew she was late, and she also told me she was secretly hiding from me....
i also told her that i do not want out friendship to ever be affected by IF..... i told her i will always be happy for her, but if she tells me she is preggo and i get sad, it is not anything but sad for me.
we decided, no more hiding. we will just be honest and up front.
i feel much better.
:D
I had to say something. she had to know my feelings, and i was waiting for the perfect moment, and i got it :D
i told her that i knew she was late, and i told her i was secretly hiding from her...... and she told me she knew that i knew she was late, and she also told me she was secretly hiding from me....
i also told her that i do not want out friendship to ever be affected by IF..... i told her i will always be happy for her, but if she tells me she is preggo and i get sad, it is not anything but sad for me.
we decided, no more hiding. we will just be honest and up front.
i feel much better.
:D
Thursday, July 15, 2010
maybe i am a bad friend
there are two reasons i think that i am a bad friend.... well two glaringly obvious reasons.
1. i spoke to BFF today. i had been hiding from her ever since DH told me she was 5 days late. that was tuesday. usually we speak 2-3 times a day. ( i know, it's ridiculous, but it's the truth)
she had gotten her AF.
she told me that it was late, and she thought she was knocked up, but was freaking out because she had POAMS (pee'd on a million sticks) all BFN.
i was so relieved to hear she had gotten AF. which made me feel like a jerk.
a total ass hole.
2. this is the major reason i am thinking i am a bad friend.
i have a girlfriend with a little baby. and it is awful to say, but i HATE her. and really i used to like her a lot. but now, i hate her. there are many little things that have caused me to have utter disgust for her.
a. got pregnant the first time she tried.
b. a month before she got preggers, she told me they weren't having kids because she was way too selfish to care for any children
c. she got pregnant to make her husband happy (not a fact, but something that many people believe to be true, not just me)
d. while she was preggers, she always complained about gaining weight, and how inconvenient it was
e. i took her out to lunch, because i had missed her baby shower due to a meltdown in the shower while getting ready..... at that lunch she made two completely horrendous comments to me. the first was that she was afraid she would never sleep again, and would take advantage of every minute in the hospital by keeping the baby in the nursery so she could sleep. the second was about coming home from the hospital...she had said that she would have her mother bring the baby home that day so that she and her husband could go and eat sushi and have a beer.
after that, i had decided she was a crazy lunatic.
f. the newest and most upsetting to me. she went on vacation for 12 days, and left her 13 week old child at home.
now i know that everyone goes away without their children. and if i am offending anyone with my judgments, i apologize. but, i think because i hate her so much already, the vacation is just a little more icing on the cake of hatred that i am baking.
in her defense, she has no idea what is going on with me. she has no idea that we had been TTC for 7 months before she tried that one little time. she has no idea about all the tears i have shed, the time i have spent, the meds i have taken, the doctors appt's i have gone to...... she knows nothing.
and maybe, she has no idea how lucky she is. maybe she doesn't understand how much of a miracle that little boy is. and how precious life is. maybe her ignorance is her bliss
but,
she sucks.
and, unfortunately, i hate my friend because she has a child.
this is why i might be a bad friend.
1. i spoke to BFF today. i had been hiding from her ever since DH told me she was 5 days late. that was tuesday. usually we speak 2-3 times a day. ( i know, it's ridiculous, but it's the truth)
she had gotten her AF.
she told me that it was late, and she thought she was knocked up, but was freaking out because she had POAMS (pee'd on a million sticks) all BFN.
i was so relieved to hear she had gotten AF. which made me feel like a jerk.
a total ass hole.
2. this is the major reason i am thinking i am a bad friend.
i have a girlfriend with a little baby. and it is awful to say, but i HATE her. and really i used to like her a lot. but now, i hate her. there are many little things that have caused me to have utter disgust for her.
a. got pregnant the first time she tried.
b. a month before she got preggers, she told me they weren't having kids because she was way too selfish to care for any children
c. she got pregnant to make her husband happy (not a fact, but something that many people believe to be true, not just me)
d. while she was preggers, she always complained about gaining weight, and how inconvenient it was
e. i took her out to lunch, because i had missed her baby shower due to a meltdown in the shower while getting ready..... at that lunch she made two completely horrendous comments to me. the first was that she was afraid she would never sleep again, and would take advantage of every minute in the hospital by keeping the baby in the nursery so she could sleep. the second was about coming home from the hospital...she had said that she would have her mother bring the baby home that day so that she and her husband could go and eat sushi and have a beer.
after that, i had decided she was a crazy lunatic.
f. the newest and most upsetting to me. she went on vacation for 12 days, and left her 13 week old child at home.
now i know that everyone goes away without their children. and if i am offending anyone with my judgments, i apologize. but, i think because i hate her so much already, the vacation is just a little more icing on the cake of hatred that i am baking.
in her defense, she has no idea what is going on with me. she has no idea that we had been TTC for 7 months before she tried that one little time. she has no idea about all the tears i have shed, the time i have spent, the meds i have taken, the doctors appt's i have gone to...... she knows nothing.
and maybe, she has no idea how lucky she is. maybe she doesn't understand how much of a miracle that little boy is. and how precious life is. maybe her ignorance is her bliss
but,
she sucks.
and, unfortunately, i hate my friend because she has a child.
this is why i might be a bad friend.
healthy eating
today i ate peanut butter and jelly, and ramen noodles.
probably not an excellence choice.
but i don't care
:D
probably not an excellence choice.
but i don't care
:D
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
5 days late
no, not me.
my BFF.
i just ate a slice of cake for lunch to help with the shock.
the worst part is that i heard it from DH. her DH told my DH. and my DH told me.
why is it that i am hearing this from anyone but my BFF?? my sister??
since we have started trying..... my BFF has gotten preggo, had a beautiful baby boy, and could potentially be preggo again.
i want to be happy and i want to be sad.
my BFF.
i just ate a slice of cake for lunch to help with the shock.
the worst part is that i heard it from DH. her DH told my DH. and my DH told me.
why is it that i am hearing this from anyone but my BFF?? my sister??
since we have started trying..... my BFF has gotten preggo, had a beautiful baby boy, and could potentially be preggo again.
i want to be happy and i want to be sad.
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