Friday, September 24, 2010


Yeah ...... Canceled. It sucks.
I'm sad.

I don't remember exactly, but it went something like this.

One side had a 22 plus smaller follies.... 12, 9, 14 etc.....
The other side had a 25 plus a couple smaller 9, 11, 12 etc.....

I knew it was going to be cancelled when I saw those giant follies on both sides.
Dr. Mumbles was mumbling away during the wanding. Afterwards we chatted about possible retrieval and possible cancel.

Basically, he just didn't think there would be enough for a successful retrieval. I understand. It is just very frustrating to have put my body through this for nothing.
I was really sad.
They suggested Provera for 7 days starting tomorrow, and then BCP for 12 days and then back to stimming on Antagonist protocol by the end of October, for early November retrieval and freeze.

DH and I spoke about it.
We are officially taking a break. I am done for a while. I was looking forward to the break after this cycle more than anything else.
I just don't have anymore fight in me right now. 21 months of TTC. Enough for a while.

My body, mind and soul need a break.

We are going to take a few months.

I am going to take care of myself. Diet, exercise, yoga, maybe a couple small trips away with my Hubs, and some money saving during the busy season at work.

I am definitely sad, but at the same time, I am kind of happy to not think about it for a while.


  1. Oh, my dearest Jes, I am so sorry it was cancelled. I, too, would be so sad. My heart hurts for you. And I totally understand your need for a break - it's just so completely exhausting, and you deserve some rest. Take care of yourself, keep in touch, and best wishes to you always. XOXOXOXO!

  2. Oh Jess, I am so sorry. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Know that you are in my thoughts. A break is a very good thing. Rest up and take very good care of yourself.

  3. Aaaaggghhh! Too many cancelled cycles among the blog community lately, it just plain sucks!! As I mentioned on Michelle's blog too, I have been in your shoes and it's devastating to come so far and have all that anticipation only to have the rug pulled out from under you. I think it's a wise decision to take some time to relax. I launched into another cycle with only one months break and I don't think it was a good idea as I overstimulated for a second time and was coasted. I did finish the cycle but got a BFN and my body took a long time to recover (think OHSS between collection and transfer) I was also a mess emotionally that cycle, the drugs gave me the worst side effects possible with terrible lethargy and headaches and I was just not in a good headspace. This time I had a 3 month break and have coped so much better and feel a million times more positive. Thinking of you, hang in there and Kia Kaha ('Be strong' in Maori)


  4. (Oops - sorry I keep putting ICLW after everything even though not everyone I am reading and commenting on is doing it! Habit!)

  5. Jess I am so sorry and amazed that this could happen to both of us at the same time. This is terribly unfair and just overwhelming heartbreaking. Thinking of you and 100% understanding how badly this sucks. *hugs*