Ugh

So I just had to tell my SIL that I can't go to New York for her graduation from Law School, because it's the weekend after my ET, because I am infertile and because I am doing an IVF cycle. Ugh!
So I could have lied...I could have made up some random excuse. But, my husband works in a family business. Therefore, almost all of DH's family knows that I am infertile. Makes me feel so great..... Ugh. My SIL was basically the only one who didn't know, and only because she lives in New York. So why lie, she is going to find out eventually. Some slip of the tongue somewhere along the way.
My week was basically full of Ugh Moments.
I wonder if my husbands family thinks that I am damaged goods. I wonder what they think of this. I wonder if they all sit around and talk about me when I am not around. Hypothesizing about the reasons for my inability to bring more of their family in to this world. I wonder and it makes me sad. It makes me feel inadequate.....this is how I feel this week. Inadequate.
Ugh.