I am so very hopeful!

Here I am in all my glory!!
Joe was happy to take my picture in a paper gown and crazy hair net thing....What you don't get to see are the wicked cute booties I had to wear as well!!












Dr. D called this morning......and we have 5 beautiful embabies!!
I am so happy.
I have tried through this month to stay somewhat neutral about the whole situation. I have tried to not get my hopes up. But today, I am hopeful. I am hopeful and excited. Friday is the day. Transfer is almost here!! We are going to put 2 of those amazing embabies back!!

Egg Retrieval

9 Eggs!!
Yay!
I hope they are mature!
I pray that we fertilize all(or at least 7 would be acceptable)!
I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THE PHONE CALL!!!

Cycle Day 9

Back to see Dr. D this morning....more blood work. I have one vein on my right arm that is awesome for drawing blood, but now I am starting to look a little like I have been doing drugs. Not Fertility Drugs.
E2=1342
I had a follie measuring 23.
Trigger Shot tonight!! Egg Retrieval on Tuesday morning.
So, I am secretly scared that I will ovulate early. And, I am so uncomfortable, I feel like I ate an entire cow and it is now sitting in my body, never to digest. Can't wait to not be so bloated. When will that be?? Also, I am so wicked tired. I have to work tonight, and I am just praying to get through it.

Doing Well :-D

It's been almost a week since my last post, but I have been trying to keep things nice and calm.
Wednesday was our first scan and blood work, also, DH was scheduled for an eye exam. DH got up early for his 8am eye exam. But, there was a major problem..... his eye was swollen shut. He looked like he got punched in the eye. It took everything in me to not laugh at him, and at the same time convince him he should still go to the doctor. DH happily agreed, because he thought they would still do an eye exam, and he would be able to replace his broken glasses. Well, no glasses for Joe, he has an infection in his eye. Poor guy, he was so upset. I guess he was wrestling with the dog and got scratched (hehehehe I have to laugh about this a little, as Joe is fine, and it is no big deal) When we got to Dr. D's office, there was more laughing at Joe as I let all the nurses in on our morning. Joe's sad face said a thousand words. :-D

Time for the ultrasound:
4 measurable follicles. All four were on the left side, NOTHING on the right. I was not happy. As a matter of fact I was TERRIFIED!
They gave me a shot of bravelle in the rear while I was still at the Dr.'s office. That made me super nervous as well. E2 came back at 322. They said things seemed ok....they up'ed my meds a little. I made a promise to Joe and myself, no stress until Friday's scan. Also, I felt things happening on the right and left side all afternoon wednesday after my shot, which helped to calm my nerves.

Friday morning scan and Ultrasound:
11 Follies! Yay! So happy with these numbers... Left side 16,16,15,14,14,13 Right side 15,14,14,14,12!! Good job done by all!!! Hooray!! Started Ganirelix. They did the first shot for me in the office. Not a pleasant shot by the way....fine going in but WOW it stings once it's in a swimming around.

Back for another scan this morning:
Everything is looking great, my follies are doing an awesome job. Follies at 20 on both sides. Lining is at 8!
Trigger shot is coming soon. I am getting excited and nervous all at the same time!

Today my wonderful hubby is cooking Prime Rib. I have been craving it for a while, and I figure I should get the bloody meat craving over with since I may not be eating any red meat for a while!! I am so excited!

Day 1 of Stims

It's kind of funny isn't it.... Starting my stims on Mother's Day. I wonder how that happened. It's like the double edged sword. I hate it because it's Mother's Day, and I am not a Mom. This year Mother's Day is extra torture. But on the other hand, how magical that today could be the beginning. Today could be when my life changes and all my dreams come true.

I want to be hopeful, but Mother's Day to me has always been torture, the same as Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve, Easter, Christmas Eve....... These holidays are torture because I work in the restaurant business. I have done it all, hostess, waitress, bartender, manager. The holidays mean amateur day. The expectation is higher and people are extra rude. And on top of that, because it is all about hospitality, I never spend these day's with my loved ones. YUCK! Mother's Day is extra awful because in South Florida, it marks the official end to our busy season. So now, for the next 5 to 6 months, I will stand around staring at my coworkers, and making half the money I do in season. YAY!!

Moving on, I did my first shot all by myself!! Very proud! I was scared to death it would hurt going in, and I wouldn't be able to finish it, or the syringe would fall right out of my stomach as I was bending over in agony.... But I did it, no problem. It did sting a little right after, and I have had horrendous cramps all night (That was great at work) But so far so good. I have my first ultrasound and blood work follow up on Wednesday. Grow little Follies Grow!!!!

To all the ladies out there struggling through this Mother's Day, just know that I am thinking of you, and sending my love to you, and wishing on this night that one day soon, we will all have our dreams come true.

Tired & Cranky.....But I have HOPE!

This is me. Tired & Cranky. This just about sums up the last two weeks. I guess it was the birth control pills....I would like Tired and Cranky to take a backseat though.

Today was cycle start with Dr. D. Ultrasound and final paperwork.
While I was sitting on the u/s table, I got a call from my OB/GYN. I tested positive for ureaplasma.... They said they would call in an Rx for antibiotics and that DH needed one too, as we have probably been swapping ureaplasma forever now.
As soon as I hung up the phone with the Dr's office I immediately Google'd "Ureaplasma" it said "STD"!!!! Excuse me?? STD???!!!
As soon as my heart began to race the ultrasound tech and my IVF nurse came into the room. I told them the news, and they seemed to not have a concern, but wanted to know why I was freaking out.... "I don't want an STD!!" They said it's not really an STD, just a bacteria.
Whew! So DH and I will be on antibiotics to kill my non-STD..... :)

Earlier today I found the Project IF on the Stirrup Queens website....I knew it was there but this morning began to read them. Probably not the best idea. I was WRECKED!!
I do understand how answering these If's can help, but I think that we all need some hope. These If's brought me down..... In order for me to survive this ride, I will do it with HOPE! Not these terrible "What If's"
Today I have Hope...... Hope that my husband does not see me as broken..... Hope that my Dr. does know what he is doing..... Hope that one day I will be able to tell people that I love and respect what actually has been going on in my life..... Hope that the IVF drugs don't make my head spin around like Linda Blair..... Hope that I can complete this cycle of IVF with no drama.... Hope that maybe I can reach someone through this blog and give them a little hope as well....and most of all Hope that I will be a mom some day soon.

So cute.....I had to share

Yesterday morning, I found two ducks in my pool!! They were so cute! DH let our dog out, I am sure to scare the ducks away, but instead, my little Stewie just watched them swim.....It was as if he was saying, "Hi ducks, you can swim in my pool!"
So freaking cute......