catching up

today is the first day i have relaxed and done nothing in maybe a month..... it was perfect. i sat on the couch all day.... from 9:30 until 4 o'clock..... and i enjoyed every minute of it.

the last few weeks have been crazy, busy, and hectic. first off the week before and the week after christmas are INSANE at work. i work in a restaurant, in a upscale snobby mall. non-stop busy at work has made me exhausted.

and then

the holidays. whenever christmas and chanukkah fall in the same week it kills me. and on top of that there was shopping, cooking, entertaining, partIes, gift wrapping, my brother in town, and my dad and his wife in town (i haven't seen my dad or brother since last christmas)

also

dh went away for an annual trip in chicago.... always the week before christmas.... real helpful. after chicago he had to detour to houston for a funeral.....(very unexpected and very sad)

and

my mom is having some health issues

and

bff is preggo

and

af showed her evil face on christmas day..... and brought brutal, horrendous cramping and awful pain.... and tears (just because).

and

my house is a disaster as i decided to add the the crazy and throw a NYE party

:-)

so..... today was for me. it was perfect. i sat on the couch and netfix'd "breakng bad". i watched the entire first season.
i returned some gifts to bed bath and beyond and got an awesome new omlette pan, for my random egg cravings...
and now i am babysitting the love of my life.... my nephew bubba.(he is 2, and no his name isn't really bubba) as i put him to bed i gave him a kiss and told him i loved him..... he said, "i love you too anut jes, happy new year". it was the freaking cutest thing ever.

as for the baby making..... started the evil BCP on the 28th. all meds are ordered and will arrive tomorrow. i scheduled some time off at work.... taking off starting the 21st and will have at least 10 days off.....YAY!!
tomorrow i am going to try and schedule a fertility massage. meds to start on the 13th.

tonight before bff left to go to dinner i asked my nephew bubba if him mom was having a baby..... he smiled and rubbed my belly and said,"baby"..... i said, "not yet bubba..... but soon."
he smiled back.

this has to work.

doing what i can

i am determined to not let the holiday's get to me....

hanukkah is almost over, and christmas is close.

i have decided no christmas decorations this year. i have done this before, and it keeps me from going insane. it's just less work. when we are not hosting christmas at our house, i see no reason why i must decorate. so that's awesome.

also, i am not sending out holiday cards..... this is not something i have ever done, but really, i'm just not into it this year. i always send a picture, and this years fertility treatments have taken their toll on my body, not really feeling up to sending out a fat picture (sorry, i know, i am vain)

yesterday i went to a cookie swap... it was a small group, nothing out of control, but i was a little nervous about baby questions..... everything was fine, i drank too much, and didn't have to answer any obnoxious questions!! yay! good times. i also dropped off cookies at the fire station by my house.... i wanted nothing to do with all those cookies in my house!! they were stoked!! and it felt good to do something nice!

i am looking forward to saying good riddance to 2010... what a shitty year.

2011 has got to be better than this!!